1 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,520 I started getting to know my father on the day he died. 2 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,360 It's a little late, 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:17,680 don't you think so? 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,880 Or maybe it was the right time? 5 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,440 My father always loved proverbs. 6 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:29,640 One of his favorites was, "Better late than never." 7 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,120 Well, 8 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,840 for once I have to agree with him. 9 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,000 Dad, 10 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,600 this was worth the wait. 11 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:00,920 Besides his love of proverbs, my father was a methodical man. 12 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:05,080 A place for everyone and everything in its place. 13 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:10,440 His family was not exempt from this fastidious sense of order. 14 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,560 I was the middle brother, 15 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:16,160 who came after the oldest but before the youngest. 16 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:17,880 Perfect. 17 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:22,560 It was never clear to me where my mother fits, 18 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,480 and neither did she, I suppose. 19 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,160 Maybe now, when he's lying next to her, 20 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,840 have time to talk about it. 21 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:39,400 There is always a lack of communication was another family theme. 22 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:41,560 We never talked about it. 23 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,720 Or about other problems. Or many other things. 24 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,840 We never talked about anything which is not perfectly trivial 25 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,400 and transitory. 26 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,760 Perfectly civilized. 27 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:58,240 Well, when my two brothers delegated me to divide our father's estate, 28 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:04,560 instead of not liking the task, he filled me with a secret hope. 29 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,600 Perhaps I would among my father's memories I could find something 30 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,040 to make me doubt even for a moment 31 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,480 that it is beneath that steadfast character any human being, 32 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,960 with doubts, 33 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,120 fantasies, 34 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,760 fears... 35 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:32,320 and love? 36 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,280 How is it going? 37 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,560 Good. I'm here. 38 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:48,800 I'd like to say to sort out dad's things, but that would be impossible. 39 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,160 More like his stuff is sorting me out. 40 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,360 I've never seen anything so organized. 41 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,280 Did you know he had a copy of each stamp issued in Guinea 42 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,840 from 1967 to 1998? 43 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,120 Yes, I'm going to look at the letters now. 44 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,560 Okay, I'll call you later. 45 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:10,920 Bye. 46 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,080 My father's letters, be that as it may, 47 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,880 they are cataloged down to the last detail. 48 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,960 That's no surprise at all. 49 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,080 Nothing interesting. 50 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,600 This was the last package. 51 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,320 Or was he not? 52 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,920 Why we are so fascinated things under lock and key? 53 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,120 I remember once, 54 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,360 I must have been six or seven years old, when I saw my father locking something. 55 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,600 Not in a metal box, then, 56 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:34,680 it was in his big desk of sandalwood. 57 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,800 With meticulous care, the father locked it 58 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,920 some sweets he sent us one cousin 59 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,200 from some province, I forgot where. 60 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,960 They didn't stop my childish curiosity sandalwood, locks and origin 61 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,560 and those sweets, which were hard like a stone 62 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,400 they ended up in my clutches. 63 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:03,000 My father discovered the theft and organized it chase in the house to find them. 64 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,160 And he found them, yes he found them... 65 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,280 No sweets, 66 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:14,760 which I swallowed one by one, petrified, and ended up with a stomach ache. 67 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,520 He found the wrappers. 68 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,040 As a child, 69 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:24,680 you think things out of sight no one sees. 70 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:29,760 It's simple logic, but unfortunately wrong. 71 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,400 Am I right, mom? 72 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:41,080 The treasonous wrappers were thrown away under my bed. 73 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,160 The punishment was severe, 74 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,720 very strict. 75 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,320 He took me to his library, 76 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:59,280 he leaned me over his expensive desk made of sandalwood and spanked my ass. 77 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,920 One hit for each candy, 78 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,400 and one extra for... 79 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,040 I don't remember why. 80 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,920 He liked it, I guess. 81 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,120 Violence never needs justification. 82 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:30,120 And now here, in front of me, 83 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,600 another chance to defy my father, 84 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,720 to probe its secrets. 85 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,440 This time he will not be beaten of great use. 86 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,120 I couldn't find the key. 87 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,280 Why are these letters not catalogued? with the others? 88 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,360 Why did my father find them special, like those sweets from the provinces, 89 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,480 and he locked them? 90 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,240 No sender written. 91 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,240 But they are always addressed in the same handwriting. 92 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:35,040 Some of them were torn and glued. 93 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:42,920 Who was this anonymous correspondent, who would could cause such feelings in him? 94 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,600 Make no mistake, 95 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,400 my father tore things up because he wanted them to be torn. 96 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,680 He never 97 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,480 and I mean never, he never made a mistake. 98 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,400 Or so I thought... 99 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,640 "Dear Raphael, 100 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,520 it's been three weeks since i saw you last video and all i can say 101 00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:19,080 is that nothing and no one can beat you get out of my mind 102 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,440 tormented by your insatiable absence, 103 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,280 an evocative memory of your presence..." 104 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,920 "Insatiable absence?" 105 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,560 "Evocative memory of your presence?" 106 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,160 This letter cannot be for the owner of that one the sandalwood table I knew... 107 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:41,800 "The days are long and colorless, 108 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,920 like a sterile plateau on which nothing grows 109 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,200 when you are not walking there. 110 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,280 In a week I will hold you in my arms, 111 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,840 imagining a world where nothing, 112 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,720 except you and me and this love that overwhelms me 113 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,800 nothing is as it is but everything is as it should be. 114 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,440 I love you so much it even hurts to write it." 115 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:11,200 Is it possible to love so much that it hurts? 116 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,800 "I dream of you every night, every day, 117 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,040 eyes open or closed, 118 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,520 with my soul far away and an orphan without you. 119 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,720 Goodbye, my love. 120 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:30,600 Juan." 121 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,220 Juan? 122 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,400 Juan! 123 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,920 Shit! Juan? 124 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:45,840 This entire series of cheap poetry signed is a man? 125 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:47,960 Juan! 126 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,880 Who was my father? 127 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,240 WOUNDED BY THE WIND 128 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,280 No, hell no. You did it again! 129 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,480 And this time I won't forgive you. 130 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,360 What do you think I am? And no one? 131 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,600 A decrepit old man? 132 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,240 You don't say, but you think so. 133 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,440 You point your big blue eyes at me and you laugh. 134 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,800 To yourself, but you smile. 135 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,960 It's the things you don't see clearly, what do you suspect 136 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,480 that you feel that's what drives me crazy... 137 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,280 But not this time, 138 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,560 you overstepped my bounds proverbial patience. 139 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,320 I don't love you anymore. 140 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,840 No, he doesn't come to me with kisses and hugs. 141 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,560 I don't love you. 142 00:12:36,659 --> 00:12:38,960 I wish I could say that I will never love you again 143 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,440 but you know that would be impossible, 144 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,840 that my eternal hatred only lasts as much as one of my headaches. 145 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,040 It's so boring, I was pulling my hair out, 146 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,760 you know how it is. 147 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:58,120 Everyone says I spoil him too much, and i know i am but... 148 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,280 I better forgive him now, 149 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,400 not to be traumatized. 150 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,360 I'm not really sure there is anything as a cat psychologist. 151 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,600 Jose Antonio, man! 152 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,720 He never pays attention to me. 153 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,680 Maybe he doesn't like his name. I don't like mine either 154 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,600 but at least I answer when people call me. 155 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,800 "Hey, Juan, Juan!" they say 156 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,640 and I come running and say, 157 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,360 "Yes?" 158 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,920 I even laugh. 159 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,520 I have to admit, it depends on who is calling me. 160 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:30,880 I laugh more at men than at women, 161 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,880 the young more than the old, 162 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,720 dark-haired more than blond, and beautiful... 163 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:38,960 more than ugly. 164 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,720 Yes, I know it's not fair to share my happiness 165 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,760 based on frivolous outward appearances, 166 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,560 but who said life was fair? 167 00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,480 Jose Antonio! 168 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,520 I named him after one of my boyfriends. Not that he looked like a cat, 169 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:03,360 but he paid no attention to me either so it made sense to twin them. 170 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,400 I hope it's not Jose Antonio. None of them... 171 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,960 Of course, come to think of it, 172 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,800 If only my cat could to call me on the phone, 173 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:17,640 I could take him to the circus instead of a psychologist... 174 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,760 I know what you're thinking... 175 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,400 "This is the old man who sent those letters..." 176 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:32,480 "now all yellowed with age." 177 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:35,680 Well, yes, that's me. 178 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,600 I could be shorter, uglier, older... 179 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,280 And more masculine. 180 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,680 But no, I am who I am: 181 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,600 Juan. 182 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,800 And I know you know who called earlier. 183 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,720 That was David, Raphael's son. Am I right? 184 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,120 You're not that smart 185 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:01,720 I just made it easy for you, admit it. 186 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,040 Well, come to think of it, 187 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,840 let's skip the prologue and get to the point. 188 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,840 I've always hated the predictable. 189 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,760 That's why I don't like life 190 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,880 I know how it will end. 191 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,920 Don't ask me how he got my number, but he got it. 192 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,200 He wanted to meet me. 193 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:36,120 To meet me and talk about something as regards his father's property. 194 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,280 I knew Rafael had died. 195 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,960 I didn't cry when I heard. I wasn't even laughing. 196 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:48,120 I just sat on an old park bench 197 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,160 and looked at the sky. 198 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:54,160 I looked up at the sky expectantly to feel something. 199 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,080 I felt nothing. 200 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,880 I guess when you cried too much in my life, 201 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,240 you can end up in one of two clubs: with those who cry for everything 202 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,640 and with those who are no longer due why don't they cry 203 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:13,360 At that moment I understood that I joined another club. 204 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,400 So... 205 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,000 I looked up at the sky... 206 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,640 and took a deep breath. 207 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,960 I realized that the air is fills my lungs 208 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:34,520 was the only authentic thing which remained with me at this stage of my life. 209 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,440 He didn't sound like his father. 210 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:55,120 Rafael's voice was dry, rounded, firm. 211 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,720 His son's voice was sweet, uncertain, unreal. 212 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,640 I like insecure people, who constantly change their minds, 213 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:09,360 who change their point of view and principles every minute of your life. 214 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,560 There is nothing more like death from firm, unshakable convictions 215 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,680 whatever they are. 216 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:21,880 I invited him. I was curious to meet him. 217 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,720 Rafael would get so upset that he saw us together. 218 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,280 How did you find me? 219 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,720 I'd rather not say. 220 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,120 People just hide things they are ashamed of. It doesn't matter. 221 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,840 - Are you sure you don't want a drink? - Yes, I'm sure. 222 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,360 - Don't you drink during working hours? - I don't work. 223 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,920 Well, sorting out property can't to be really fun. 224 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,280 These are my father's things. I have to sort them out. 225 00:17:52,852 --> 00:17:55,440 When my sister died, I had to sort things out 226 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,400 pile of papers: bank accounts which I knew nothing about, 227 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,360 actions, assets... 228 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:05,080 I lived next to a millionaire 50 years and I didn't know it. 229 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,120 Bizarre. If you're a millionaire and you don't show it, 230 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,880 you missed the point of being one, right? 231 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,480 But Asun didn't think so. 232 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,280 She was a sensible hardworking ant and I was a greedy grasshopper. 233 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,600 She wanted to save for a "rainy day". 234 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:25,440 But waiting for that rainy day 235 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,200 I guess she never thought to keep an umbrella for me. 236 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,360 But there it is. 237 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,840 The industrious ant fell dead from a heart attack 238 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,720 and the grasshopper drinks French cognac from Czech crystal glasses. 239 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,200 Are you sure you wouldn't want a drop? 240 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,840 No thanks. 241 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,120 Will you tell me why you came? 242 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:51,800 Or we will spend more time playing these tactical games, 243 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,760 pontificating on the human and the divine 244 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:59,440 before we jump in into the quicksand of personal interests? 245 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,960 - I am not here for personal interest. - Liar. 246 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,440 Everything we do is out of self-interest. 247 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:10,720 We work, speak, listen... And we love it. We especially love. 248 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,600 Nothing is more selfish than love. 249 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,480 You are quite pessimistic outlook on life. 250 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,040 There is no other choice. 251 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:25,400 When you reach my age, you will understand that life is just a bad joke. 252 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,960 I'm sorry, Juan, but you don't know how I'm doing I feel at your age. 253 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,200 It is possible. 254 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,120 Fortunately, I won't be here to see you in person. 255 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,440 Excuse me, you wanted to tell me something. 256 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,920 If you want, we can return to yours last sentence, boy. 257 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,280 I came to talk about my father. 258 00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,160 Don't tell me? You're kidding! 259 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:49,400 Is it me or were you laughing at me? since I walked through that door? 260 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,600 It's not just you. I was mocking you. 261 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,760 But I also made fun of myself. To everyone. 262 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,600 Even Jose Antonio! My cat. 263 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,400 Spoiled damned creature. 264 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,480 Show your tail now or never don't come back here! 265 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,640 Go on, I'm listening. 266 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,000 Maybe you'd prefer me to come back another time, when you find your cat. 267 00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,800 No, no, I'm listening. 268 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,320 Sorry again. Sit down, please. 269 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,520 I denied you the opportunity three times to speak 270 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,480 all we need now is yes the rooster crowed. 271 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:30,080 Of course, Saint Peter had an excuse: they could have crucified him upside down 272 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,280 and that must be a little painful. 273 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:37,520 But everything I do, in the end, is to look for a stray cat. 274 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,120 I turned into an ear. 275 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,960 I found some letters from my father. 276 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,360 Which you wrote. 277 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,880 And. You have nothing to say? 278 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,400 Not. Do you have something to ask? 279 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,200 They are love letters. 280 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,200 Love? No, not just love. 281 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,440 These are letters of love and passion, fire, desire. 282 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,360 - You could say so. - Form is everything! Trust me. 283 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:26,160 Life is made of pleasant forms, and not from boring content. 284 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,520 The content is clean, simple, obvious. 285 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,320 -Forms allow more nuances. - Call them what you want, 286 00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:32,920 but letters between two men: 287 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:34,400 you and my father. 288 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,060 Do you think so too? 289 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,960 I know. I read them. 290 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,920 Don't believe everything you read or see. 291 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,040 And sometimes not even what you experience. 292 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,160 Sometimes it's hard not to believe. 293 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,800 I always thought they would destroy them. 294 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,040 If he knew he was going to die, I guess it would. 295 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,920 We're all going to die. It's foolish to think you're immortal. 296 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:17,680 And there are things that are better not to postpone until the last moment. 297 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,840 That was so long ago that... 298 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,850 Did I read them wrong? 299 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,600 Not. 300 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,360 I think it is wrong that the whole world he didn't read then, but now. 301 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:33,280 No, I'm glad you have them. 302 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:37,240 I wouldn't want your mother to see them. A woman who suffered for so long, what a shame. 303 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,880 - Have you met her? - Yes, we met several times. 304 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,760 She was a good woman, but without personality. 305 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,120 Sorry to talk about her like this, but you asked. 306 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,560 I just asked if you know her, and not for your opinion of her. 307 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,920 Maybe I was mocking you, but it seems that you are a little defensive 308 00:22:52,945 --> 00:22:55,030 How would you like it if I were you? insulted your mother? 309 00:22:55,062 --> 00:22:57,387 Me? I would be delighted. I couldn't stand her. 310 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,387 Let me make one thing clear. 311 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,920 I didn't insult your mother. 312 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,520 I only said she was a good woman, but without personality. 313 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,040 Usually those two things go together. 314 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,920 How many good people do you know with personality? 315 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,080 I don't know, 316 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:15,120 but too often people get confused in between personalities and inconveniences. 317 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,400 Well, that's a good topic for debate: 318 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:21,040 "Personality and discomfort at the beginning of the new millennium." 319 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,760 You sure you don't want a drink? 320 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,480 Drink one for Asun. She was always hospitable. 321 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,360 No. Tell me about my father. 322 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,640 God, I wanted to ask you the same thing. 323 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,280 I guess you are knew at least a little. 324 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:37,080 Thirty something years with someone there is no such thing as casual sex. 325 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,720 Were you in a relationship with him? 326 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,680 Not so fast. 327 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,520 I am thirty seven years old. 328 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,800 You look younger. Lucky guy. 329 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,680 I always looked my age. How tragic is that? 330 00:23:59,815 --> 00:24:01,682 I knew him only as his son. 331 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,920 - Isn't that enough? - It's not enough. 332 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,960 I've always wondered why people want to to know everything about others. 333 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,000 We're entitled to a dose of mystery, dear. 334 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,080 Lies are not the same as mystery. 335 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,680 I understand. Can you explain the difference? 336 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,200 Lies cover things up. 337 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,080 Mystery surrounds them, giving them an aura of magic. 338 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:34,040 He was very smart. Smarter than his father, that's for sure. 339 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,440 He played with me I don't know if it was conscious or not. 340 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,640 who cares about that? I gave him something to play with. 341 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,720 Okay, let's talk about your father. But not today. 342 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:46,360 I'm tired, my head hurts and my cat also ran away. 343 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,240 Come back tomorrow. Bring all the letters. 344 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,720 I would like to read them again. 345 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,040 He plays with me. 346 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,880 But I was so curious that I let him go. 347 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,680 He was certainly a strange fellow, 348 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,000 miles away from my father. 349 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,320 What could they have in common? 350 00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,840 Why a relationship? 351 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,040 "Hello, Rafael. 352 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,520 I am writing this letter in despair, 353 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,880 like everything i do when it is connected to you 354 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,720 like every one of my days since i met you. 355 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,560 I would never have imagined love like this." 356 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,360 It's bad to make assumptions, especially in matters of the heart, 357 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,960 which have more in common with the lottery than math, 358 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,840 even though it's kind of a common place which you must have already come across. 359 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,360 At least once in your life you have to dare 360 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,446 and you jump into a deep abyss. 361 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,240 The landing may be painful, but... 362 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,600 free fall is... 363 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:09,880 unforgettable. 364 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,320 "I could never dream of such sweet gall," 365 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,840 "of such pleasant pain." 366 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:23,680 Raphael, 367 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:28,600 I can finally tell you: 368 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,160 you ruined my life. 369 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,800 And now your son wants to get to know you better. 370 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,360 What a temptation, my dear, 371 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,640 what a temptation... 372 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,080 So, have you found your cat? 373 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,920 Please don't be so official. 374 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,840 I know I'm a bit of a relic, but I still have a touch of vanity 375 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,600 which neither you nor anyone else can destroy. 376 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,840 All right. But have you found your cat? 377 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,720 - I didn't. - Aren't you worried? 378 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:51,320 No. There are many things in life which I did not find. 379 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,800 One more won't kill me. 380 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,080 But for your peace of mind, I'll tell you a secret: 381 00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,080 I don't have a cat. 382 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,960 - What? - I don't have a cat. 383 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,200 Jose Antonio died five years ago. 384 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,280 On the plus side, my house is not covered in cat hair. 385 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,120 But I still talk to him, it helps me relax. 386 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,080 Don't look at me like I'm a crazy old man. 387 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,560 Or at least be delicate to look at me like I'm crazy, period. 388 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:19,160 I think that's sad. 389 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:20,800 What's sad? 390 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,720 To talk to someone who is no longer there. 391 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,560 I'm sorry to tell you that this is more or less what you do: 392 00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:29,520 a conversation about someone who is no longer there. 393 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,320 At least I talk to someone about it who is here: with you. 394 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,680 Don't make a mistake. I'm not here either. 395 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,760 I'm just a reflection 396 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,560 mirage in the middle of the desert which you cross. 397 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,080 - Let's talk about you. - I don't want that. 398 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,000 But I want to. What do you like? 399 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,280 A normal person, I guess. 400 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,560 Clean yourself, then. 401 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,160 I don't want normal people in my life, I only want exceptional beings. 402 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:57,640 Out of my house! Go away! 403 00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:59,520 My father was a normal person. 404 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,240 And you loved him for many years. 405 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,160 I guess I am 406 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,120 but it was not my choice. 407 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,480 You don't choose love. 408 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,920 You choose a profession, city, friends... 409 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:19,360 Love is like a coup, it doesn't ask permission, nor does it behave democratically. 410 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,280 Your father was normal, 411 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,760 but love changed him to someone special for me... 412 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,560 Even if he really wasn't. 413 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,320 - Do you have a girlfriend? -Not. 414 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,520 - I'm not gay. - I didn't say anything. 415 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,280 - But you thought. - Can't I think what I like? 416 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,760 I don't like it when people think things about me which are not true. 417 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,720 Blow your brains out, dear boy. 418 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,720 The world is full of wrong ideas. 419 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,000 - I'm sure you had more than one. - I don't think so. 420 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,400 - Just because you don't think it doesn't mean it's safe. - I'm not gay. All right? 421 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,160 I didn't mean that. But anyway. 422 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:18,040 - What do you smell? - You. Do you mind? 423 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:19,880 - A lot. - Sorry. 424 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:24,920 So... What do you do? 425 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,840 - I'm an architect. - An artist, my God. 426 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,440 Cartoon house plans are not very creative. 427 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,000 what about you 428 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:37,200 Nothing these days. As I told you, Asun was a financial wizard. 429 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:41,160 - What happened before that? - I was a teacher in elementary school. 430 00:32:41,992 --> 00:32:45,080 One fine day I just didn't gone. I stayed home. 431 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,240 I think I've lost interest to teach anyone anything. 432 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:49,720 You learn things when you want, 433 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:52,560 not when someone is trying to put them in your head. 434 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:56,000 At that age, all you want is to play and laugh. 435 00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:58,840 How did you meet my father? 436 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,360 And now the lecture. 437 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:05,560 Allow me to get up then. 438 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,920 When I talk about serious things i like to tuck my stomach in 439 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,320 I stick out my chest and make a deep voice. 440 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:18,440 I went... 441 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,960 I went to your father's office. I needed a good lawyer 442 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,880 to get me out of a horrible mess due to arrears on the mortgage. 443 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:32,920 I've always been a disaster with these things, and Asun and I have not lived together yet. 444 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,480 Then I saw him: 445 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,200 so handsome.. 446 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:43,320 so tall... 447 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,560 so serious... 448 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,200 so heterosexual. 449 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,440 It wasn't love at first sight at all. 450 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:56,400 It was a few days before I started to really focus on him, 451 00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,960 on a man below the straight guy, I mean. 452 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,960 Luckily for Cupid, 453 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,400 it took more than three weeks to get rid of the poor mortgage. 454 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,200 By the time he handed me the bill, i was hopelessly in love. 455 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:13,560 What did you do? 456 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,880 I thought I'd make some up other legal dispute, 457 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,840 but your father's fees were too high. I couldn't afford it. 458 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:20,960 Well? 459 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:23,760 I mustered up the courage and invited him to dinner. 460 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,400 The favor he just did me it was the perfect excuse. 461 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:29,040 - So you had dinner. - No, we are not, don't be impatient! 462 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,280 - Can I tell my story at my pace? - Yes, sorry. 463 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,760 How kind. 464 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:38,320 Rafael, as might be expected, refused my offer. 465 00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,880 "Thanks, but I haven't done you any favors, that was my job," 466 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,120 "that's why you paid me." 467 00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:45,280 My father was always a technician. 468 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:47,800 You insisted, of course. 469 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,560 Not. I didn't insist. 470 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:53,120 Maybe I seem overbearing, 471 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:58,560 but when you are in love you are not the same person. 472 00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:00,480 you are someone else 473 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:08,280 stranger, nervous, always waiting for a look your prince on a white horse. 474 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:09,720 When did you see each other again? 475 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,720 Coincidentally, in a cafe. 476 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,560 I was preparing the "coincidence" almost a month. 477 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,520 I've never met anyone who is so little inclined to drink coffee. 478 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,040 I, master of absolutely nothing, dolce vita, 479 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,097 Mr. “Don't put off until tomorrow what you could to do the next day, or never," 480 00:35:29,167 --> 00:35:30,671 I was completely broken. 481 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,800 - You spied on him for a month? - Yes. 482 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,080 And finally, in the heavenly breakdown of biorhythms, i guess 483 00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:39,880 he entered that cafe 484 00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,240 on the corner of Calle Serrano and Hermosillo. 485 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,320 It's gone, now it's a hamburger bar. 486 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,960 So you see, all my memories are eventually converted into food or drink. 487 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:54,680 Are you in a hurry? 488 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,200 No. 489 00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,280 Why are you always looking at the clock? 490 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:00,640 It's a nervous habit. 491 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,240 To be honest, it's a nasty habit. 492 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,800 Here I am, digging through memory, 493 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,440 raising stone slabs on the past which I'd rather not dig into, 494 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,920 and there you are, squinting at the clock. 495 00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,800 It is very unpleasant. 496 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,080 Sorry. 497 00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:17,400 Excuse me? 498 00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:21,200 -All right. It's true that I have a meeting. - So why did you lie? 499 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:25,280 - I didn't want to look rude. - Well, you certainly succeeded! 500 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,840 There is nothing better than a lie to discover what you really are. 501 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,120 - Do I look rude to you? - Yes, you look it. 502 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,080 Simple and stupid. 503 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,640 Why do you want to know all this? 504 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,640 Why do you suddenly feel the need? to meet your father? 505 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,640 He meant nothing to you alive, don't have him now to put him on a pedestal. 506 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,320 Or take it off. It's not worth it. 507 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,960 Go to a meeting and cross your arms over that silly blonde. 508 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,080 Be happy, live your life. 509 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:52,200 Or at least try. 510 00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:55,960 I said I was sorry. Isn't that good enough? 511 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,160 No. I don't want apologies or excuses. I want the truth. 512 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,480 -How far do you suggest we go? -To the end. 513 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,200 How touching. 514 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,520 What if there is no end? 515 00:37:08,601 --> 00:37:11,600 You knew my father in a way to which no one ever knew him, 516 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:12,960 not even my mother. 517 00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,600 Those letters speak of the passion that I never saw in it. 518 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,520 Maybe he didn't have one. 519 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,280 But everything is written down! 520 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,160 I don't know anyone so stubborn regarding the power of the written word. 521 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,680 Except for Moses and his wretches stone slabs... 522 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,040 Stop playing! I've had enough of your mockery! 523 00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,920 To be honest, I thought that you are smarter than your father. 524 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,320 But I was wrong. 525 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:44,960 My sense of smell failed me. 526 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,400 Your brain is in the same place as his. 527 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:55,560 Above. 528 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,400 And where do you think it should be? 529 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,160 Here. 530 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:07,400 That's a huge difference between the winners from the defeated. 531 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,760 Leave your brain in your head, don't complicate life. 532 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:12,920 Go to your meeting. Triumph. 533 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,360 And forget about me. 534 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,920 I'm beginning to understand why you are my father and you could be together. 535 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,000 In the end, you treat people the same way, 536 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,720 as if they were inferior beings, 537 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:26,600 with the contempt that comes from knowing that you are intelligent 538 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,440 knowing that you are special. 539 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:30,840 Let me tell you something. 540 00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:36,160 Besides, my father and you have something else in common: 541 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:38,320 loneliness. 542 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,600 Maybe you are at a certain stage in your life was different 543 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:45,120 but now... 544 00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:49,120 you are nothing but a bitter old man. 545 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,040 I'm all alone. 546 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,840 This bitter old man 547 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,840 he wants you to hide so he can could be alone. 548 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,720 No, I don't want to hear another immortal a phrase before you disappear. 549 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,480 Go in silence. 550 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,400 At least show some class. Your father would love that. 551 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:27,680 And he left. 552 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:29,880 He was angry, very angry. 553 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,680 But sure, very sure that he hurt me 554 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,680 something not everyone can claim. 555 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,800 Our vision of reality is so partial. 556 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,400 We look nostalgically at the sunset 557 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:48,560 not noticing that in another part of the world the same sun rises 558 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:51,800 and some other imbecile looks on, captivated. 559 00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:57,080 Same sun, but different eyes. 560 00:39:58,520 --> 00:39:59,880 Another brain. 561 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:03,520 Another heart. 562 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:13,920 Yes, 563 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:16,920 i'm here 564 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:18,840 all alone 565 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,040 With a terrible feeling that I wasted my life. 566 00:40:24,720 --> 00:40:26,560 Asun, Raphael 567 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,080 and even Jose Antonio left. 568 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,880 Now it's just me. 569 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:39,000 My mistake was not understanding something fundamental: 570 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,360 you don't need two people to love, 571 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,080 it only takes one person who wants it. 572 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,600 Love is not always a dialogue. 573 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,400 It can be long, lonely, 574 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,280 terrible monologue. 575 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:01,840 Take my advice. 576 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,580 You never fall in love with someone who despises you. 577 00:41:04,605 --> 00:41:09,344 David came here hoping for answers, the ones I've been looking for for years. 578 00:41:09,369 --> 00:41:13,440 He never knew his father. I never knew Rafael. 579 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,400 Doubt eats at him. 580 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,040 I was destroyed by certainty. 581 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:26,360 Maybe it would be better if both of them we chat some more. 582 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,000 Maybe we will. 583 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,520 Who knows? Who knows? 584 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:15,200 My father collected old records. 585 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:24,440 He was going to a nearby store used board 586 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:29,360 in search of hidden treasure 587 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:32,760 such as limited editions 588 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,880 or rare compilations. 589 00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,920 He listened to them on an old gramophone, 590 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,320 from the student days at the university. 591 00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,291 He really liked Italian singers and singers. 592 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:49,920 Rita Pavone, 593 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,360 Jimmy Fontana, 594 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:57,040 Nikola DiBari... 595 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,240 and Mina. 596 00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,920 Especially Mina. 597 00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,720 "Her voice is unique." 598 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,320 I would play again and again. 599 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,560 He handled them carefully, 600 00:43:17,720 --> 00:43:23,280 worried that a speck of dust will spoil it their sound. 601 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:29,680 My father never pampered me. 602 00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,560 Well, no. 603 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,640 Maybe what I just said not quite right. 604 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,480 He took me to the cinema once, 605 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,720 to watch one of the most cruel movies of all time: 606 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,160 Bambi. 607 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:15,400 No, don't laugh: Bambi. 608 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,440 That movie traumatized me. 609 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,760 At eight years old, I wasn't ready for such a tragedy. 610 00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,560 I will never forget the tears which flowed down my cheeks 611 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,240 while I witnessed death that poor deer. 612 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,320 My father, seeing me so troubled, 613 00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,320 he sat me on his knees and gently caressed my hair, 614 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,160 whispering in my ear: 615 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,360 "Don't cry anymore," 616 00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:56,480 "mother deer had to go," 617 00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,560 "but everything is fine." 618 00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,800 No, it wasn't right. 619 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:12,800 Nothing was wrong. 620 00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:19,160 I guess that's what my father is wanted him to do by stroking my hair 621 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:21,520 either to stop me from making such a noise. 622 00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:26,440 That was the first and last time he did me took to the cinema. 623 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:32,400 Yes, my father pardoned me once. 624 00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,080 But I'll never know for sure why. 625 00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,858 It's Juan. He called several times. 626 00:45:43,883 --> 00:45:46,495 He tried to see me, but I was thinking that it's not a good idea. 627 00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:47,840 So I said no. 628 00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,320 But we all know how much some people they can be persistent 629 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,880 when they want something. 630 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,000 Can I? 631 00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:58,920 What are you doing here? 632 00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,840 - If the mountain will not come to Muhammad... - I don't want to see you. 633 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:03,160 Too late. 634 00:46:03,185 --> 00:46:05,695 The most you can do is to try not to listen to me. 635 00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:07,960 Or I could ask you to leave my house. 636 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:09,800 Will you do it? 637 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,480 Never make threats which you are not ready to carry out. 638 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,960 - That's inelegant. - Who let you in? 639 00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:21,240 Your father. 640 00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,800 At least that's how it looked. Who is he? 641 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:26,040 Jorge, my brother. 642 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:31,400 The eldest got his mother's face, and the youngest father's. 643 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:33,720 What about you? 644 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,000 I don't think I look alike. 645 00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,480 - Didn't they tell you that you were adopted? - This is no time for jokes. 646 00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,360 When it's not time for jokes, it's the perfect time to get one. 647 00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:44,760 Please go away. 648 00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,200 -David... - You were right, that's right. 649 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,280 We don't need to go through all this. Please go away. 650 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:33,960 Hello... 651 00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:39,280 All right. Say whatever you have to say. 652 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,880 Aren't you going to offer me a drink? 653 00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:46,560 Asun must be turning in his grave. 654 00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,960 Actually, I was just about to go out. 655 00:47:49,240 --> 00:47:52,400 God, that blonde again? 656 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:53,800 Not. This one is black. 657 00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:55,440 Typically. 658 00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,200 Deep down, all blondes are really brunettes. 659 00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,320 There is nothing real anymore. 660 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,920 Can I ask you something? 661 00:48:04,600 --> 00:48:05,600 You can. 662 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:08,680 Why don't you have a permanent girlfriend? 663 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:10,320 I am young. I want to enjoy life. 664 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:12,720 Promiscuity makes you feel more alive? 665 00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:15,880 Look who tells me: Master of Dolce Vita. 666 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,000 It's me, you have no idea. 667 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:20,280 But to live, 668 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:25,880 first you need to be able to feel, to perceive, 669 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:29,080 to enjoy... And that takes time. 670 00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,760 - Can I ask you something now? - You can. 671 00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:33,960 Why do you like smelling things so much? 672 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,000 It is the most reliable of the senses, the most direct. 673 00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,040 He never makes mistakes, never lies. 674 00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:43,040 Hence the saying "he has a nose for work" 675 00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:45,080 or "this doesn't smell right." 676 00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:48,800 The sense of smell is used as a reference point for truth. 677 00:48:49,080 --> 00:48:50,840 King of the senses. 678 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,760 I can say that you are mine olfactory dissertation moved. 679 00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:58,640 Thank you. 680 00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:08,480 - What are you looking at? - Into you. 681 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:13,080 You look much more handsome this way. This is more your style. Informal. 682 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,800 On the other hand, you look a little... 683 00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:18,280 Old fashioned? 684 00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,480 Yes, old fashioned is the right word. 685 00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,320 To be honest with you, until the last moment I was 686 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,120 torn between a large red straw hat with matching shoes and purse 687 00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:31,560 or this bad business suit. 688 00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:33,960 Obviously I opted for the latter. 689 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:37,840 - For the record, it was for your own good. - Well, you didn't have to. 690 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:40,720 A splash of paint would bring this neighborhood to life. 691 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:42,360 Thank you. 692 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,000 god 693 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,040 I really appreciate this. 694 00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,120 Although I'm used to it now, i hate drinking alone. 695 00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:59,400 I don't think plunging into alcohol is the best way to face life. 696 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,760 Maybe not the best way 697 00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:06,560 but one day you will find out that there are no other options. 698 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,000 How many times have I imagined this place... 699 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,640 Where did you find the letters? My letters... 700 00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,520 - Where did he keep them? -Up, 701 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,360 hidden in a box. 702 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,600 Are you going to tell me why you're here? 703 00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:45,640 I think our last conversation he wasn't... civilized? 704 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,720 - Well, I tried. - But I'm not. That's why I came. 705 00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:51,280 Why are you so verbose about everything? You're getting on my nerves. 706 00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,480 I like to see things from the inside. 707 00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:58,480 Of course, when you look from the outside, you can't anymore to see the inside. 708 00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,040 I am Prometheus chained to own curiosity. 709 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,760 "Curiosity killed the cat," say the English. 710 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,680 Maybe that's what happened to your cat. 711 00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:10,280 No. Jose Antonio died when he ate too many oysters. 712 00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:13,400 I'm afraid he had the spirit of a Roman emperor. 713 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:17,120 Why do you live in this house? 714 00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,320 What's wrong with this house? 715 00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,840 Nothing, except that she's not yours. It's your parents' house. 716 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,520 You are thirty seven years old even if you don't look like it. 717 00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:30,640 You have a job, your life. Why didn't you leave earlier? 718 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,960 I don't know. I feel comfortable here. 719 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,040 Liar. 720 00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,960 I hate being called a liar. 721 00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:44,440 And this is the second time you've done it in this short but intense relationship. 722 00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:48,760 Sorry, it must be an inheritance my teaching years. 723 00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:51,760 - I won't do that anymore. - I appreciate that. 724 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,800 Would you be so generous? 725 00:51:59,240 --> 00:52:03,400 Oh dear! Your generosity knows no bounds. 726 00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:10,360 I think you're afraid to leave. 727 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,080 You're afraid to be an adult. 728 00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,400 My brother Jorge also lives here. 729 00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:19,360 Yes, but he has other reasons. You just have to look at his face, 730 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:22,680 like Rafael, if you know that he it doesn't scare anything. 731 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:25,880 But those eyes of yours... 732 00:52:27,640 --> 00:52:29,920 What do you see in them? 733 00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:35,200 the need for love, 734 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:37,920 approval, 735 00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:40,240 to feel important. 736 00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:43,880 I'm not as sensitive as you make me out to be. 737 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,040 No one is the same as they are portrayed. 738 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:49,000 That's why painting is art, and passport photos are not. 739 00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,240 Where are you going with this? Please tell me. 740 00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,480 I don't want to watch you go around in circles 741 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,200 so take me where you planned to take me away. 742 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,720 Where do you think I want to take you? 743 00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:08,320 If you hope that I will admit mine alleged homosexuality, 744 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,040 you're wasting time. 745 00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:14,640 I'm not gay, okay? 746 00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:16,440 Not everyone is gay. 747 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,560 That's something you gays you should understand. 748 00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,440 Calm down. I'm sure you're not gay, David. 749 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,800 It's not as easy to be gay as what people think. 750 00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:27,320 Not. 751 00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:32,000 It takes years of learning, training, dedication... 752 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,240 And very often, pain. 753 00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:39,440 You do not meet these conditions. Life has been kind to you. 754 00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,240 Yes, I know you would like more love from his father 755 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:44,320 and maybe a little less than his mother, 756 00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:47,105 - but you never wanted anything. - Money can't buy everything. 757 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:50,000 The only people who say that are them who always had everything. 758 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:54,680 - I was lucky in that respect. - Well, not all of us were so lucky. 759 00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:57,960 To be honest, I can't to imagine you hungry. 760 00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:00,760 You don't have to use your imagination. 761 00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,240 You just have to read the history books. 762 00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:06,800 There is nothing left in this country after the war. 763 00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:11,280 Only destroyed houses, hatred and shortages. 764 00:54:11,920 --> 00:54:14,080 Yes, I was hungry. 765 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:19,560 I wasn't seriously broke because I was never serious, 766 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,640 but I have been without dinner more than once. 767 00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:25,960 And I assure you, my parents are were so busy 768 00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,800 surviving from day to day, keeping your head above water, 769 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:31,720 that they didn't spend much energy to pamper your children. 770 00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:34,040 Your lack of affection does not justifies her absence? 771 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,720 Of course not! 772 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:39,400 But like your parents, and mine did as much as they could. 773 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,720 Their world, their scale of values have not been reached so far. 774 00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:43,840 You can't ask for more. 775 00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,608 You must have really loved my father when you defend him so much. 776 00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:49,920 Yes, I loved him. 777 00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:52,360 obsessively 778 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:56,720 which is the worst way to love. 779 00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,320 I loved him more than you can imagine. 780 00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:01,160 But I'm not defending him. 781 00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:04,160 Trust me, I'm not defending him. 782 00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:07,200 - Do you really want to know why am i here - Yes! 783 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:09,360 Let me tell you who your father was. 784 00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,480 who was my lover 785 00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:15,880 since your insistence is boundless as much as your wit. 786 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,000 These are letters that are me sent to Raphael. 787 00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:21,680 Take them back, they're yours. 788 00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,360 keep them. Or tear them apart once and for all. 789 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:26,440 Anyway, I don't want them. 790 00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:36,280 And this... 791 00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:42,320 are the letters Rafael sent me. 792 00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:45,840 These are the ones that should be important to you, 793 00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:49,880 they talk about how Rafael felt. How he loved. 794 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:52,600 It takes two for a couple. 795 00:55:52,720 --> 00:55:55,920 You need to be informed before you pass judgement. 796 00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,280 And even then it's better to be silent. 797 00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:02,120 No one ever knows what's going on between two people in love. 798 00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:05,960 Only they know. 799 00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:08,920 And love itself. 800 00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:14,360 - The letters my father wrote... - Not so fast. 801 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,040 They're yours, impatient girl, don't worry. 802 00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,640 That's my parting gift. 803 00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:23,640 But first let me taste this whiskey. By the way, horrible.. 804 00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,040 Take my advice: 805 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,400 Since you will surely hurt your body, use a better whip. 806 00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:31,240 I didn't think about him. 807 00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:33,280 You can bet. 808 00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:37,600 I'll tell you what you want to know, 809 00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:40,120 but first you have to do something for me. 810 00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,600 calm down 811 00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,400 I won't ask you to take off your clothes. 812 00:56:45,720 --> 00:56:49,040 Lovely, just like your ass looks in those jeans 813 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,920 I became an angel long ago: 814 00:56:53,040 --> 00:56:55,800 sexless and very camp. 815 00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,080 What do you want? 816 00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:01,760 The truth. 817 00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:04,080 The truth? About what? 818 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,960 Your father. How do you feel about him? 819 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,200 - You mean how I felt about him? - No. 820 00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,360 I want to know how you feel right now. 821 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,560 Resentment and emotional addictions they are not buried in a coffin. 822 00:57:15,720 --> 00:57:18,043 They haunt us in our lives. How do you feel about your father? 823 00:57:18,068 --> 00:57:19,925 - I don't know. - How do you feel about your father? 824 00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:22,400 - I don't know! - You have to know! That's basic. 825 00:57:22,600 --> 00:57:25,520 That decision doesn't depend on what you're going to do found in these letters, 826 00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:29,000 It depends on you, on your own limitations and expectations. 827 00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:30,920 He was your father. How do you feel about him? 828 00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:32,040 I don't know! 829 00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,600 You are a coward! I better go home now with my load. 830 00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,640 - Do you want to know the truth? - Yes! 831 00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,600 I love him for everything he has given me. 832 00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:40,720 And what is this? 833 00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,600 And I hate him for everything he denied me! 834 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:46,560 So I'm the one who thinks it's love pure selfishness? 835 00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:50,080 The child needs a lot of attention. 836 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,240 Did you want more? 837 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:54,720 Of course I wanted more! I was entitled to more! 838 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,040 I did not choose to come into the world! 839 00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:00,880 You should at least clap after for pushing me on stage. 840 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:03,560 You're right, David. The world is a stage, 841 00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:04,920 but empty. 842 00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,440 Nobody is ready to watch the whole show. 843 00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:10,720 If you can only think of yourself, you shouldn't have children. 844 00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,920 You can't give what you don't have. 845 00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,280 Your father loved no one. 846 00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,680 And do you know why? Because he didn't love himself. 847 00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,200 You didn't get the best cards when he was shared his affection. 848 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,880 What do you know about anything? 849 00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,120 Do you think cutting me out of the story would 850 00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:31,600 mean more kisses in this house? 851 00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:35,160 - Yes, that's what I think. - Well, you're wrong again. 852 00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:40,000 You can't count kisses, like letters, plaques or whiskey bottles. 853 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:43,440 Someone who has love and kisses to give don't skimp on them, 854 00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:48,520 he does not divide them in the hope of negotiating with their valuable goods. 855 00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:51,560 - He just gives them. - My father would be a moneylender. 856 00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:54,040 But it never affected you. 857 00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:06,160 I think it's time to give it to you these damned letters. 858 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:11,280 Read them. 859 00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,280 Read them, dammit. 860 00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:19,200 Read them. 861 00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:38,960 This is empty. 862 00:59:40,400 --> 00:59:42,120 Read someone else. 863 00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:54,440 They are empty. 864 00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,920 They were love letters which your father wrote to me. 865 00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:03,280 Blank sheets of paper in an envelope with my name and address. 866 01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,760 He wrote me only one letter: 867 01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:14,240 first. 868 01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:27,320 "Dear Mr. Martin, 869 01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:32,080 After our chance meeting in that cafe last week 870 01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,320 and thinking about what you said, 871 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:40,960 I would ask you to be kind and no longer contact my office. 872 01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:46,000 I'm sure some other lawyer will 873 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,080 be able to take over all your legal affairs. 874 01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:52,400 Sincerely, 875 01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:55,280 Rafael Duke." 876 01:00:56,080 --> 01:01:02,640 "Madrid, July 21, 1967." 877 01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,840 That was his only letter. 878 01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:12,960 Now that you know me a little, 879 01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:17,120 I'm not one to let it go the fire goes out if the embers are still burning. 880 01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:21,080 I swallowed a pride I never had 881 01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,120 and I came back to spy on him, 882 01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:26,280 secretly 883 01:01:26,680 --> 01:01:29,760 like someone chasing something fragile and ethereal, 884 01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:35,080 which could break into a thousand pieces if someone shook it too hard. 885 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,120 Our second meeting took place in the park. 886 01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:40,640 It was short. 887 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:43,600 He said he never wanted to again to talk about "that topic". 888 01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:48,080 I told him that "that topic" was burning my soul, 889 01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:53,280 and makes everything around me look empty and meaningless. 890 01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:55,680 He was inflexible. 891 01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:59,560 "I prefer to think that this conversation does not lead. 892 01:02:00,200 --> 01:02:02,800 But he gave me his word 893 01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:09,520 that he will never say anything nobody for my "perversions.". 894 01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,680 I thanked him for that, 895 01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:18,080 but my desire gave me courage and I went on. 896 01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:20,000 I asked him... 897 01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:25,040 I asked him to correspond with me. 898 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,800 Before he had a chance to say no, I started talking again: 899 01:02:28,920 --> 01:02:32,840 "No, Rafael, you don't need to write to me. 900 01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,600 I just want you to send me the blank pages. 901 01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:43,560 My love will write the lines which will never leave your pen, 902 01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:46,480 words that will never be spoken 903 01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:49,680 caresses that we will never feel". 904 01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:55,480 For a moment he seemed moved, 905 01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,680 or so I wanted to think... 906 01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:03,040 But he wasn't ready for even that. 907 01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:06,040 He thought it was another one a form of perversion. And he left. 908 01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:10,160 I stayed there, on the bench, 909 01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:15,960 on the same bench I was sitting on when i heard he died 910 01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:18,920 and I couldn't get up for hours. 911 01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:26,160 I wanted your father more but that I wanted anyone. 912 01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:28,320 And the fact that he won't agree, 913 01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:31,600 not only does he love me not even that I love him, 914 01:03:31,800 --> 01:03:33,840 instead of making me unhappy, 915 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:40,360 she made me hold out my hand and catch the golden ray of hope: 916 01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,760 "What if he doesn't dare?" 917 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,560 "What if he's afraid" 918 01:03:45,680 --> 01:03:49,240 "and it was not the lack of feeling that caused it his refusal?" 919 01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:54,840 Being gay 40 years ago was not like it is today. 920 01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:56,920 40 years ago 921 01:03:57,440 --> 01:04:00,840 you had to give thanks for every day who let you breathe. 922 01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:03,360 Yes, 923 01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,080 I chose to believe that your father he feels something for me. 924 01:04:06,240 --> 01:04:10,120 Something he couldn't accept, but something. 925 01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:16,400 It's so easy to fool yourself. 926 01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,640 These fantasies inspired me again and I wrote to him. 927 01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:24,360 I waited days for an answer. 928 01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:29,160 Every morning I watched mournfully into an empty mailbox 929 01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:32,080 which deprived me of the slightest consolation. 930 01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:39,240 Then one day, it arrived. 931 01:04:40,920 --> 01:04:45,600 It shines like a full moon. And white as the same moon. 932 01:04:46,480 --> 01:04:50,000 Rafael fulfilled my wishes. 933 01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:51,560 He sent me what I asked for. 934 01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:54,400 He made my dreams come true. Was that possible? 935 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:57,560 Yes, it was. 936 01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,160 I was so happy with that blank sheet of paper. 937 01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,600 I wrote him a new letter full of hope, 938 01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:08,040 allowing myself to fall into the abyss insanity celebrating our destiny. 939 01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:10,920 I got another answer. 940 01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:15,960 Your father has been my father for forty years sent blank letters, 941 01:05:16,320 --> 01:05:20,600 less and less, but in constant flow 942 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:23,680 which ended shortly before his death. 943 01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:31,480 That was our "wonderful" love story. 944 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:36,320 A wicked game that I invented. 945 01:05:39,240 --> 01:05:43,400 Rafael was only an accomplice in my game, but I was the winner. 946 01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:50,160 What was the prize? 947 01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:54,600 You were right: 948 01:05:57,400 --> 01:05:59,360 my terrible loneliness. 949 01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:05,560 Not that I haven't had casual sex 950 01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:08,440 during all these years, 951 01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:14,160 the body I cling to in despair, eager to be taken care of. 952 01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:15,880 Of course I did. 953 01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:21,080 But no one could take it his place. Do you know why? 954 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:25,640 Because his love was mine my own love, which I invented. 955 01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:31,880 No one could top this one fictitious man who never existed. 956 01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:40,080 My fear of real life, 957 01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:45,960 to be loved by a person and not from an impossible being, 958 01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:52,400 he kept me firmly attached to this one prison of dreams and lies. 959 01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:05,040 I always loved the sound of the wind, 960 01:07:05,920 --> 01:07:10,280 so smooth on its continuous and a persistent path. 961 01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:18,040 "The wind does not harm you, it does not injure you", I thought. 962 01:07:18,320 --> 01:07:20,520 "It rocks you from side to side," 963 01:07:20,640 --> 01:07:24,840 "he messes up your hair, your clothes, but not your heart". 964 01:07:30,680 --> 01:07:32,400 But... 965 01:07:33,720 --> 01:07:38,360 there are several types of wind 966 01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:42,320 from the one I loved, the one for whom I felt safe. 967 01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:47,160 The wind can also be a hurricane which destroys your life and your emotions 968 01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:50,440 if you don't know the right moment to get out of the way. 969 01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:56,320 When Rafael agreed to my request, 970 01:07:56,840 --> 01:08:00,480 to send me those innocent empty letters, 971 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:05,400 he threw me a long rope 972 01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:10,960 who am forty years old wrapped around the neck. 973 01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:17,080 And the wind hurt me. 974 01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,320 Why did your father agree to correspond with me, 975 01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,960 even in this unusual way, 976 01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:46,240 there was something I didn't understand. 977 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,480 I will never understand. 978 01:08:53,440 --> 01:08:55,960 Maybe it's at the bottom of his heart, 979 01:08:56,200 --> 01:08:58,680 behind the recognizable part, 980 01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:03,280 there was a small space with mine with my face and name, 981 01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:06,000 with my voice and my look. 982 01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:10,240 A corner of love that could be mine. 983 01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:17,320 And maybe not. 984 01:09:21,680 --> 01:09:23,200 Certainly not. 985 01:09:30,760 --> 01:09:37,320 If what you were looking for in me was confirmation that your father is a man, 986 01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:40,400 with doubts, 987 01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:42,160 joys, 988 01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:44,600 passions, 989 01:09:46,800 --> 01:09:50,560 I can't help you. I haven't the slightest idea. 990 01:09:51,040 --> 01:09:54,680 I'm sorry I let you down. But I can't help you. 991 01:09:55,520 --> 01:09:57,840 And neither can you. Face it. 992 01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:01,080 Blaming other people is so easy. 993 01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:02,720 And so cowardly. 994 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,600 Your father once took you to the cinema. 995 01:10:07,120 --> 01:10:13,520 It was a cartoon, Bambi, I think. 996 01:10:14,240 --> 01:10:21,200 I always played for the other team so I spied across the street. 997 01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:25,320 I saw your little black eyes full of fear 998 01:10:25,440 --> 01:10:29,480 from the vision of that terrible story about loneliness and death. 999 01:10:30,480 --> 01:10:35,800 Be smart and choose the movie you want to watch for the rest of your life. 1000 01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:38,320 You still have time. 1001 01:10:41,960 --> 01:10:43,960 And now it would be best if I left. 1002 01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,600 You need to change a lot of things. 1003 01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:53,520 I need to accept other things. 1004 01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:58,360 It's a shame we can't to be friends 1005 01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:01,400 but I am not prepared to suffer again. 1006 01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:04,360 I've had enough of one Mr. Duke, 1007 01:11:06,400 --> 01:11:09,800 I couldn't bear to madly in love with his son, 1008 01:11:12,840 --> 01:11:16,480 because I would fall in love with you, guaranteed. 1009 01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:23,200 To love is nothing but wanting to love. 1010 01:11:25,320 --> 01:11:27,320 I always wanted too much. 1011 01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:33,400 Too bad I never got to choose recipient for my letters. 1012 01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:34,760 For my life. 1013 01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:40,360 Take care, young David. 1014 01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:43,760 You don't have to wrestle Goliath who is dead and buried. 1015 01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:46,480 Forgive your father. 1016 01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:52,000 That's the only way you will finally forgive yourself. 1017 01:11:58,520 --> 01:12:01,240 I started to know my father on the day he died. 1018 01:12:02,480 --> 01:12:05,000 A little late, don't you think? 1019 01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:08,000 Or maybe it was the right time? 1020 01:12:08,840 --> 01:12:11,400 Yes, that was the right time. 1021 01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:15,680 I don't know who you are, dad 1022 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:17,600 and I will never know. 1023 01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:19,720 But I know you were my father. 1024 01:12:20,160 --> 01:12:22,040 That's enough for me from now on. 1025 01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:25,000 That should be enough for me. 1026 01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:33,840 To my father. 1027 01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:37,080 For everything I don't know about him. 1028 01:12:38,291 --> 01:12:40,291 Translated by Mito